Yesterday I lost the volleyball match. Since then I have realized that I have got old and not able to jump. But also the feeling that other players are more heighted and more dedicated in playing volleyball.
I did win the first match but only maybe because the main player did not show up. That was a good win, but a loss against a team of same caliber has made my confidence down. Now, I don’t feel like playing any more.
I wanted to win the match so badly that everything opposite happened. In the first set we were behind by 7 points in first 10 points, so the score read 10-3. I did not like a single bit of it.
Then we came back but the score read 25-14 something. Starting of the second set was good but eventually we lost.
We do have a third match on Wednesday, but I don’t want to play anymore.
While riding back to home, I realized that whatever I have ever wanted I have barely got any. I do get things that are not meant for me.
I wanted to do Avionics engineering, in the counselling, the last seat went in front of me. I could have opted for the wait list, but instead chose the Aerospace engineering. Then it stuck with me.
Now I work as a mechanical engineer who always wanted to be in electronics or computer domain.
I studied the competitive programming but in 2020-21 due to covid the companies were firing or not giving jobs so I was scared and never took the bait from my government job.
So, again it was not meant for me. (hate to say it)
Even in this job I prepared very well for my promotion, but due to my sick freak head, the recommendation was not that good and I fucked up some question, so got a late promotion.
I started learning piano before competitive programming, but again quit as I had to give time to job and marriage.
So the domains I touch I do not stand long enough to see the end result and I hate that about me. I do want to continue, but the consequences become such that I just quit.
Just like after the loss of the volleyball match, I see that other players are more heighted and better that me.